What does it say about an industry where packaging is the number one differentiator? Certainly not that all vodka pretty much tastes alike! I mean come on… It’s 50/50 water and pure alcohol – there are millions of other ways to stand out… But if all else fails, here’s a list of the coolest (or simply weirdest) vodka bottles on the market.
AK 47 Kalashnikov Vodka Souvenir Bottle
The appropriately named Russian vodka, Kalashnikov, (named after the famous Russian general Mikhail Kalashnikov, inventor of the AK-47 assault rifle) released an appropriately designed souvenir bottle resembling an AK-47.
The special edition bottle comes complete with a military-green wooden carry case and specially engraved dog tags symbolizing the unit number of the limited edition bottle. Unfortunately, as this is a limited edition item, obtaining this emblem of Russian heritage is not that easy due to a strict release of 13,000 bottles. Oh! And did we mention that these bottles are priced at roughly $385 each? That being said, if price is not a factor, you might still be able to nab one of these soon-to-be collector’s items at http://www.kalashnikov-vodka.com/.
Seven Samurai Vodka
While you may feel a bit strange requesting a “Samurai on the rocks,” you’ve got to admit that the bottle and accompanying packaging by Russian designer Artur Shraiber is quite cool. The vodka is supposed to be quite decent too for that matter… Consisting of natural flavors or watermelon and oat extract.
Holland (Bong Spirit) Vodka
Vodka, much like wine, tends to be marketed as an upscale, sophisticated alcohol (despite its historical context of being the crack of eastern European peasants); however, with the oversaturation of high-end marketing, it was only a matter of time before a crafty vodka producer came up with a way of appealing to less-tapped vodka markets… Like stoners! And no, I’m not just drawing assumptions from the bottle’s shape – the vodka is actually imported by Bong Spirit Imports.
Crystal Head Vodka
Quadruple-distilled and triple-filtered through herkimer diamond crystals, this premium vodka prides itself on using no additives… Then it just gets weird and (more) gimmicky. The company tries to tie in a legend of 13 crystal skulls that contain magical, mysterious powers. Apparently this is not just a cool bottle but rather a replica of one such mysterious crystal head. Even stranger, this story is told by company partner, Dan Aykroyd, in a weird series of videos found on their website or below:
Oval – Swarovski Crystal Bottle
Grey Goose may be a favorite of rappers, but only because they are unaware of the bling-blingin’-ness of the Oval Swarovski Crystal Bottle – or perhaps the $6,992 price tag will scare even the most bling blingin’ of rappers away. As far as I can tell, the bottle has no effect on the taste of the vodka… But if you want to prove yourself to your friends, it will certainly make for a conversation piece. Or you could just buy them 6,500 Bud Lights; they would like it better and wouldn’t talk about what a tasteless douchebag you are behind your back!
If you like your vodka out of a futuristic-looking battery this is the vodka for you. Actually I must admit it’s pretty sleek.
This sleek design resembling the Voss Water bottle is the “World’s First Neck-less Bottle…” And like Holland (Bong-Spirit) Vodka (above) may also allow for easy conversion into other things… Like a vase of course!
While the whole Hapmton’s association is rather gimmicky in my opinion, Hampton’s Vodka does have a unique package – in an industry dominated by clear glass. However, I don’t think it’s bling bling enough for Diddy at his Hampton parties.
For some reason its resemblance to an old-time IV makes me think I’m going to get more @#$%ed up than a normal bottle of vodka.
1000 Acres Vodka
Amazingly designed vodka bottles by Peter Arnell of Arnell design company.